Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (’07 review)

3 out of 5

Out of all the “vs.” horror movie franchises, Aliens vs. Predator is one of the few monster vs. other monster series that makes sense.  Godzilla vs. King Kong?  Simply two big creatures from their respective countries battling it out.  Freddy vs. Jason?  Round pegs hammered into square holes.  Alien vs. Predator is different because the storylines actually mesh together.  The Predators are big, nasty dudes that hunt the deadliest of game, and the deadliest game is the Aliens. The first face-off, Alien vs. Predator was somewhat limp but had its moments.  With the sequel, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, the result is, again, somewhat limp but has its moments.  The potential for an epic Alien vs. Predator movie is there, but frustratingly, only in glimpses. 

For the uninitiated, here’s a rundown on the Alien and Predator franchises: the Alien movies are about a parasitic lifeform that grows inside a living host, then a baby-alien bursts forth in a very ugly display, and then that baby-alien turns into a gigantic mean alien that kills everything in sight.  The Predator movies are about a different space alien that comes to Earth to hunt hapless humans (and others) for sport. Basically, Alien is about a monster from space, and Predator is about a monster from space with a little bit of Rambo and The Most Dangerous Game tossed in. 

Comparing the two AVP films side by side, the first Alien vs. Predator outing has the better story, but Requiem has better action.  Paul W.S. Anderson’s flick wasn’t exactly all that strong in the storytelling department (it’s going-to-the-underground-to-meet-the-monster story is fairly similar to his pervious film, Resident Evil), but at least it bothered to give a reason for the mayhem. In Requiem, the Aliens descend on an unlucky town, and a Predator shows up to clean up the mess.  Nifty action scenes, but it’s all the stuff with live people stinks.

It’s impossible to care for any single person in this entire film.  They’re all badly written and woodenly acted.  There’s a subplot between two blonde airhead teenagers that is given way too much screen time.  Memo to 20^th Century Fox:  In a film where you want to see Aliens vs. Predator NOBODY IS GOING TO CARE ABOUT A TEENAGE ROMANTIC STORYLINE! It’s a bad O.C. plot shoehorning its way into the sci-fi action.  There’s a story about the town ne’er-do-well named Dallas (Steven Pasquale), who is apparently a nogoodnik because he wears a leather jacket and is named Dallas.  Even Reiko Aylesworth, a good actress who had three solid seasons of 24 under her belt, is reduced to pointing, screaming, and shooting in a poor attempt to replicate the character of Ellen Ripley. 

It’s odd how the Predator and Alien series have twisted from “cheering for the humans to survive” to “cheering for the monsters to rack up a body count”.  The bad guys are simply more interesting and cinematic than their flesh-and-blood counterparts.  We have known these creatures for a combined eight (!) films now, and human characters have stopped being the driving force the storyline.  That’s probably because Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sigourney Weaver shoes’ are too big to fill. Still, Alien and Predators have become a part of modern pop-culture lore, so seeing them go at it onscreen is a kick. 

Many scenes in Requiem are homage’s (or steals) from the pervious films: a bunch of hapless army grunts end up in a hopeless battle against a swarm of alien beasts (see Aliens); the Predator faces down his final foe by throwing off his mask and fighting mono-a-mono (see Predator). If you know either of these franchises, you’ll get the riffs.  The movie is at its best playing with the core concept of Alien vs. Predator. Seeing how the Predator has very specific tech and methods to take down the Alien menace is pretty cool.   Unfortunately, some of the cinematography is a little too dark to see; you’re just watching flashes of dreadlocks and teeth. 

There are some original moments in AVP:R that adds to overall mythos.  Fans of the Aliens series should keep a look out for a cameo by a Ms. Yuntani in a subtle shot-out to the previous films.  The new creature, the hybrid Predator and Alien is cool, even though it has awkwardly inherited daddy-Predator’s dreadlock hairstyle.  After five films with the Aliens, we finally see the ugly result of someone coming in direct contact with the Alien’s acidic blood (any movie that involves face-melting has to get a pass).  Probably the freakiest scene is when a pregnant woman gives “birth” to a litter of tiny Aliens.  There have been memorable creep-out scenes in both of these series, and that scene actually stands up with the best of its predecessors. 

The previous film Alien and Predator films did have a sort of horrific elegance to them, but they have a B-monster-movie heart.  Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem dispenses with the art and degenerates into sci-fi horror / gore fest.  When it works, it lives up to the crazy concept of mashing these two franchises together.  But there’s a lot of junk in between.  Maybe the third time these creatures go at it will be the charm.